Make me laugh

2 hours ago

me: omg i have so much stuff to do
me: i don't even have enough time for all this
me:
me: *opens tumblr*

5 hours ago

When someone says "So tell me about yourself"

You’re like: What do I say?

“Oh my God, Who am I?”

5,695 notes — REBLOG

11 hours ago

band member to fans: what song should i cover
me: cover me
me: with your naked body
me: what
me: who said that

14 hours ago

Can you imagine if you went to the doctors and you had a sore throat, and he asked you what the problem was, and you suddenly turned into Eminem.

“I CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT IT REALLY IS, I CAN ONLY TELL YOU WHAT IT FEELS LIKE. AND RIGHT NOW IT FEELS LIKE THERE’S A STEEL KNIFE IN MY WINDPIPE.”

79,472 notes — REBLOG

vladimirmedvedev:

boobs-and-champagne:

choronekos:

the-absolute-best-posts:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

oh

this just got awkward

for fuck’s sake

23 hours ago

teacher: where is your homework
me: queued

9,036 notes — REBLOG

1 day ago

31,721 notes — REBLOG

doctorholmesofhogwarts:

rainflaaash:

districtnineand-three-quarters:

accio—loki:

valkyriesmith:

solveitwithchocolate:

iou-a-fall-smeagol:

eleanull:

thechimeraresistance:

tltty:

if this eggplant gets less than 5 million notes i’m going to be so upset

Reblogging because eggplant

Fewer than 5 million notes. Fewer. Not less.

I believe that it is called an aubergine.

IN AMERICA WE LET EGGS BE PLANTS BECAUSE FREEDOM

In Britain we let those AUBERGINES live once we heal them with our FREE HEALTH CARE

NOBODY CARES, ENGLAND

at least America came up with their own word and didn’t steal ours

you used the wrong flag France